please babe its only the forest of unimaginable horror how bad could it be please it'll be the perfect date night I promise and you can see all the unimaginable horrors you want....we can go to the aquarium next time promise
i have to get rid of half a pack of cigarettes by april 14 and "get rid of" cannot mean "smoking myself." but why would you throw away something so expensive
greatest website in the world
> be me last year in september
> learn that they make products for bald men to make their heads shinier
> for some reason this is extremely funny to me and i become obsessed with this fact
> at this same time, a coworker at my new job needs to escape her abusive boyfriend
> we hatch a plan to get her stuff moved out in a couple hours while she pretends to "go to work" that morning to throw him off
> the day comes and me and one other coworker are the only ones able to actually make it
> we show up and his house is completely hoarded, like worse than half the shit on tlc hoarders.
> she failed to mention anything about this
> because of these things it takes us quite a bit longer than we planned for and the boyfriend shows up halfway through us moving her stuff
> he has the shiniest fucking head ive ever seen in my life
> they go into the master bedroom to "talk through things"
> im watching from the hallway tryna make sure nothing happens when i see it through the open door into the master bath
> a bottle of bald head oil just like ive been looking at online. it has a picture of a shiny bald head on it and everything
> hes yelling at her and shes crying and im standing there between shoulder-high cardboard boxes of random trash staring past them at the bald head oil. i cant take my eyes off it
> i want it more than ive ever wanted anything
> he eventually calms down and we finish moving her stuff but the whole time im looking for an opening to steal the bald head oil from the bathroom
> it never happens
>its been over half a year and i still think about it weekly
